There's a feeling in the air

If only things were as "feeling right this time of year," as Better Than Ezra put it.

The grass is growing again. The birds are chirping. And I am stuck inside, encouraged not to talk about a major transition that is coming up in Laura and my life.

Yes, you guessed it, the first round of appointments have begun. I have come to realize in the last few weeks, that this is one of the most unhealthy processes that could be attached to ministry. Laura chides me for taking this long to realize it, but by growing up Methodist, there were a lot of assumptions that I looked over until now.

One of the few things that I do feel I can safely say is that it is certain that we will be moving this year. The church's membership and attendance has declined (through several deaths and people needing to move into full-time care facilities) so much that they can no longer afford even the minimum salary for an elder in full connection.

Honestly, before I was appointed here, the church was already at this point, and it has been a true testament to the strength and character of these people that they have been able to make it this long. But this dedication to meet the financial requirements for the conference and to cover the staff salaries has taken its toll on them and has also locked up resources that could have been used to encourage growth and outreach. Hopefully, with the church being able to lower its salary and Conference askings, they will be able to have at least a little more funds to put towards more outreach.

But, even though we know for certain that we will be moving, there is no indication of where that may be. I do know of a few possibilities, though, which helps. One of the new practices this year has been for potential Associates to "interview" with senior pastors in churches where they may be sent. Of the places I have gone, I have felt comfortable there and can see great potential for ministry.

But, the reality is, that not even these "possibilities" are guaranteed. Granted, all of this is better than the past two years when all along, we had been told that we were staying and then two weeks before Annual Conference we were told to start packing (both moves fell through due to a communication breakdown between the District Superintendents and the churches).

And so I am stuck. Only being able to say a lot of nothing as we prepare to go somewhere. I may have even said too much even with this, because Laura can't really tell her employers anything.

I'm not angry or bitter, nor am I even surprised at the process. I knew what I was getting into when I answered the call to ministry. The problem that I have is the way in which the covert nature of the Cabinet and the itineracy system contributes so much to a feeling of mistrust and isolation for pastors and churches.

So we have three months. Three months to wonder, wander, and wait. I guess it's fitting that most of this happens during Lent - wandering through the wilderness and waiting on a call from the devil.

I am excited about new opportunity and possibility, and I know that wherever we go, we will have a great ministry. And hey, I've been given a pretty good sign all will work out well.