Journeys

No, not the band.

Laura and I head out today for what will be an eleven day tour, spanning, Tennessee, Alabama, and the country of Panama. We're looking forward to it all, but I'm already getting tired thinking about all the places we'll be going.

We will be spending most of those 11 days in Panama, with several of the younger clergy from the North Alabama Conference, and Bishop Will Willimon. This is part of a UVIM training trip with the idea that we will be trained to be group leaders so as to be able to take other groups to Panama to do missions. Also, the Bishop wanted this time to spend with the younger clergy so as to get to know us better and to have a dialogue about the changing face of ministry. If anything, it should at least an interesting trip just to see a different part of the world.

So, Merry Christmas to all, Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, and for the rest of us, Happy Festivus! I will be back next year with updates and a journal of our trip.

--MATT

Redistricting

Last night, Laura and I went to a meeting at Wesley Memorial UMC in Decatur, AL concerning the re-districting of the North Alabama Conference. We went, like many others, hoping to get some details about what this new structure was going to look like. All I knew was that there had been a study committee appointed a couple of years ago to look at what several other committees had looked at over the past 30 years. And, that this committee had made the recommendation to reduce the number of districts from 12 to 8.

I guess you could say that the theme word for the night was "fluff." At several points during the two-hour meeting it felt very much like we were at a political press conference. It almost became humorous the number of times their "talking points" were repeated. "Vision" this, and "challenge" that. "Trust" and "empowering leadership" were also up there.

The whole point is this, the North Alabama Conference has lost over 30,000 members in the past 30 years and the current structure is not cost effective. Though the number of churches have stayed the same or have increased, the number of people in those churches have decreased and financial resources have become increasingly limited. The committee picked the number of new district to be 8, so as to best re-align our existing resources. However, no rationale was given for the choosing of this number, nor what the new District structure would look like. The only information that was given was a new vision for what the role of the District Superintendent (DS) ought to be.

The whole focus of the presentation was about how the new structure would allow DSs to do less administrative work and more coaching and ministry. It sounds good, especially with the challenge to local churches to be more connectional and cluster their resources and ministries. But, the confusion still lay in the apparent paradox that somehow the DSs were going to be able to have more time to do this when the number of churches that they were responsible for increased.

After a while, after an hour of talk in generalities about how clustering and sub-districting would allow DSs to be more efficient in training several churches at once instead of one at a time, the people there were finally beginning to get it. THEN, Dale Cohen (the Director of Connectional Ministries) "mentions" that to help the DSs they would have an assistant to help in the administrative work. This goes over like a lead balloon because we had been talking all night about cutting costs and now they're talking about adding 8 more people (as assistants) to the mix - an overall INCREASE of 4 people! Not many people heard it, but supposedly the assistants won't be paid, or might even be shared among the Districts.

Granted, I get that our current structure is not working and we need a change, but two things have been very frustrating. One, there was very little, if any real information was given. The people just wanted to be able to say, "OK, this is what the new structure is going to look like and this will be what the new role of the DS will be. And, this is where we plug in as a local church." Granted, that's not what the vote will be bout in January at the Called Annual Conference (the conference can only vote on the number of districts, not the structure), but there was nothing that people could sink their teeth into and say, "This new idea might work." There were no ideas, just concepts, and, when you are talking to people in the Decatur and Huntsville Districts, you'd better give those Rocket Scientists something more than just a buzzword to plug into their logic.

The second thing that has bugged me is something that came up during our Order of Elders Meeting: trust and the trust that comes through communication. I could sense a deep feeling of mistrust by many in the auditorium that they were skeptical that reducing the number of districts would solve our Conference's woes. The reality is, is that there are a number of things that need to be addressed before the Conference is doing ministry as efficiently as it could be. There were many, like me, that were thinking, "Why are we focusing our time on this, when there are more pressing needs facing our local church's ability to do ministry?" Things like the skyrocketing cost of the mandatory pastor's insurance, the role of the pastor and the local church, and new ways of looking at itineracy, these affect a local church much more than how many districts we have. I hope that these things will be addressed soon by the Conference. I know that this will probably be one of the many conversations that I will be having with the Bishop as we and several other young clergy go on a mission trip to Panama.

By reducing the number of districts to eight, the conference will save close to $300,000 when all is said and done with salary, insurance, housing, etc. for DSs. but, how that money will be used is the question. It would have been nice to have heard just one program, event, something that these newly re-aligned resources would be able to provide. Just something that was on the books and we could see how it would make a difference in doing ministry in the North Alabama Conference.

Going to eight districts will not fix all of our problems, maybe not any of them, but I do hope and pray that this truly is a start in the right direction. At least serving as a wake up call to the whole Conference that we need to do something different.

Message from Bishop Will Willimon concerning Redistricting

'tis the Season?

John 1:6-8, 19-28

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, there is a war going on. No, not the war in Iraq. No, not the cola wars. But there is a war on Christmas.

I’ve read a lot of articles over the past week and a half, seen loud-mouthed commentators on TV, and even heard people discussing it as they were doing their shopping, over whether or not Christmas was in danger. Frankly, I’ve been quite amused. Of all the holidays in the world, Christmas is not only one of the largest, if not THE largest, but it is also celebrated by more people than any other holiday in the world. I don’t think there’s any danger of losing Christmas, if we did, every major retailer would be put out of business. They wouldn’t make any money.

And really, that’s what’s driving this whole thing that’s going on. Money. Money and publicity – which translates to more money.

Ahh, I remember not too long ago, a simpler time, when Christmas was about preparing our homes and spirits for the Prince of Peace. We retold the stories about how God loved us so much that he sent his son in the form of a baby to teach us how to live and be in relationship with God and each other. We would listen to the hymns about baby Jesus in a manger, the shepherd, the wise men, and how hard it is to find a hotel on Christmas Eve. And we would hear preachers rant about the commercialization of Chrstmas. Now, the stories are about which stores are saying “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas.” And it seems our salvation is based, not on the Resurrected Christ, but on where we decide to shop.

I’ll be honest with you, it doesn’t bother me a lick when I hear someone say, “Happy Holidays.” I say it myself. I don’t mind it for several reasons, one because it’s a sign of tolerance and understanding, and two, for what the word “holiday” really means.

The word “holiday” is a shortening of the words “holy” and “day” – “holy day.” At Christmas time, we are focusing on one particular day, but aren’t all the days leading up to it pretty special? I mean come on, we’re not burning these candles in the wreath for nothing, people! Even the days following Christmas day are pretty special as they lead up to Epiphany. So, when I hear “Happy Holidays,” I’m not only hearing well wishes for people of other faiths as they celebrate their own traditions, I’m hearing a reminder that we are in the midst of a very special time that cannot be contained in just one day. Happy “Holy Days,” indeed.

Our gospel text again turns to John as we are reminded of the holy days that he lived in. I wonder how many others felt it. If there was an energy in the air? A buzz, or a feeling that something amazing was about to happen? I imagine too, that like us, there were some who knew that something special was going on, but they were looking in the wrong place, distracted by all the flashy lights and the people who were trying to yell louder than everyone else.

John was out there in the wilderness, baptizing people, getting them to repent, and helping them come to a new relationship with God. He was reminding people to worship God and not themselves or the Pharisees. But of course, the Pharisees didn’t like that, John was cutting into their profit margin. So, they send out the priests and Levites to do their dirty work and undermine John’s credibility. Rather than question the validity of what he was doing, they attack his character. It seems to be a pretty good indicator that your position is the reasonable one when the only thing the other side can do is attack your character. It’s a sign of them having nothing else to stand on.

So there is John, breath stinking of bugs, beard dripping with honey, and as humbly as a loud-mouthed wooly-booger could be, he says, “I’m doing this to help people recognize the Messiah when he comes. Most of you are too dense to even sense something special is happening, but for those who are ready, they will see something great!” Granted, that’s from the New Reed Version of the Bible (in stores in time for next Christmas), but that’s the essence of what he was saying. “I’m only preparing the way and pointing people in the right direction.”

It hurts me to see people heading in the wrong direction. I’m not just talking about the “Happy Holidays” thing, but headed in the wrong direction in their lives. People who are living without a relationship to God and are wasting it on self-centeredness. You see it in many forms, from addiction and abuse, to greed and power-hunger, to wanting to impose their viewpoint on everyone and eliminate everyone who disagrees, we’re a pretty self-centered bunch.

That’s not what Christ offers. He offers an alternative to focusing on our needs. He offers a relationship that is based on love and hope. A relationship that eliminates the need for mindless indulgence with an invitation to focus on God.

And that’s what Christmas is about. The ultimate form of someone reaching out to be in relationship and love with someone. Christmas should grab our attention, set us on the right path, and remind us that God reached out to us in self-sacrificing love and that we are called to do the same. Christmas reminds us that God loves us so much that he put his life on the line for us.

I saw an article this weekend that gave me hope that the spirit of Christmas is not dead. From Reuters in Indonesia there was a report concerning security for those who were wanting to worship on Christmas day there. With fears of bombings and attacks, that might be repeated from Christmas Eve bombings in 2000, the police said that they were going to step up security.

However, despite these fears and thoughts of dangers in years past, something amazing has happened. A youth wing affiliated with Indonesia’s largest Muslim group, Nahdlatul Ulama, who are 40 million strong, told reporters on Friday that its members would guard churches for the coming Christmas celebrations and it had persuaded youths from other religions to join the project. Can you imagine, Muslim youth and youth from other religions, standing guard outside churches, putting their lives on the line so that their neighbors could worship in safety?

The spirit of Christmas is not dead, it just seems that non-Christians are the ones who have it. Would you be willing to stand guard for someone of a different religion? Would you put your life on the line as Jesus did?

We are in the midst of some very Holy Days, open your eyes and see the path of truth that leads us through the wilderness.

Sermon delivered 12/11/2005

Why did I do this?

You are a Social Liberal (66% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (15% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Katrina Relief

So, I'm going to be going somewhere in LA or MS with half of the clergy of the North Alabama Conference to help in the Katrina cleanup. We've been "trained" to be first responders, so that we now have the credentials to go anywhere there is a major disaster. I feel real qualified. That hour-and-a-half I listened to that blow-hard, asshole, retired minister, while playing solitaire on my phone really prepared me.

We'll be somewhere where it is stinky and hot from Oct. 2 - 6. I'm glad to be able to help, and I am excited about being able to do something, but the others who will be going from the Florence area can be less than tolerable sometimes.

Keep supporting UMCOR and the Red Cross.

Sunday, Sept. 4, 2005

I know that I am backdating a bit, but I have been wondering about the appropriateness of me posting a sermon concerning the hurricane on this site.

"Winds of Fury, Circles of Grace"

Over the past week, I am sure that no doubt many of us have watched countless hours of coverage of the destruction of Hurricane Katrina. To me, it’s unbelievable not only the damage that was done, but the human toll it continues to take.

I was having trouble deciding on how to approach the subject of Katrina and other natural disasters this morning. Should I try to address questions of theodicy and ask why natural disasters such evil can happen in a world that was created by a good God? Or, preach a sermon about compassion and social justice?

In some ways I believe that these two things are at least somewhat related. Don’t get me wrong - in no way am I setting up this idea to say that evil happens so that good can come out of it. Let’s just stop that there. I believe that God isn’t that cruel. Granted, Romans tells us that all things work together for the good in the end, but that’s in the ultimate big picture. I’m talking about now. Sure, we want to provide a reason for why something bad has happened, but the loss of thousands of lives to bring about a new understanding of God - I don’t think so.

When we blame God for natural disasters, when we call chaos an “act of God,” we portray our Creator as a destructive and terrifying foe.

Now I admit, maybe it is too easy for me to talk like this. Those of us who are not experiencing suffering have to be very careful when we talk about what it means to suffer. I am very aware of the fact that I am waxing poetic about the theological meaning of a hurricane when I am thousands of miles away, dry and unscathed. I have no right to tell someone who has lost everything in a natural disaster that it is inappropriate to be angry at God. Yet I believe that even as the shouts of frustration and cries of pain are hurled at God, God continues to console the inconsolable. God continues to be an ever-present source of strength and courage and comfort and peace.

My sermon title this morning comes from a book that a pastor, who has now become a friend of mine, wrote about ten years ago.

You may remember the Palm Sunday tornadoes from 1994, some of which struck Goshen Springs Methodist Church, killing many members, including his daughter. In his book, Dale describes the grief that he and his wife, who was the pastor of the church, went through after losing their daughter and many members of Kelly’s congregation. The book also describes the literally thousands of letters people wrote them, trying to make sense of what happened.

As you can imagine, few of those letters were helpful. Theories of all different kinds poured in. Some blamed the fact that Goshen church was pastored by a woman. Others weren’t so harsh and tried to offer comfort through clichés that were empty in faith. And others simply told them to deny God altogether. In their own way, all of them were trying to make sense of what had happened.

To me the book was helpful in pointing out how little we really see God. Dale says that most all of the people who were asking questions about faith asked pretty much the same question, “Where was God in all of this?”

After a long time of searching and praying, he finally came to a conclusion. God was not only there with them during the tragedy, but was with them before and after. As he began to witness the outpouring of love and compassion, he began to see where God was working through the hands and hearts of the people around him.

There is a plaque at the Goshen Springs Methodist Church in Alabama that reads “Sometimes God calms the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms the child.”

What Dale found, and what I have found in my own experience, is that for the most part people who say that they believe in God, go about most of their lives thinking about and experiencing who God is. God is more of a vague shadow, even in the lives of Christians, than an ever-present comfort and guide that he promises to be. And, since we are pretty lucky and spend most of our lives without tragedy, we tend to “overlook” God for the most part. So, when the time comes that we need to look to God for support and comfort, it’s not that God isn’t there, we’ve just forgotten how to look for him.

I don’t know why God lets bad things happen. But I do know that when bad things happen, the people of God react differently than those who don’t know Christ - or at least they should.
As we consider the role of God in this disaster, we must also consider the role of humanity. In addition to the primary disaster of the hurricane, we have also observed many deplorable responses to the havoc. The nation is truly in an uproar. Stories of unbridled looting and unspeakable violence bear witness to the human capacity to sin. Yet God continues to love our broken humanity. Furthermore, the slow response to deliver aid to the mostly impoverished minorities who were unable to leave New Orleans has given rise to significant questions of justice.

But even then, we have already seen, even through the tragedy and slow government response, an amazing amount of money, assistance, compassion, and love have been given by people of all walks of life. So when people ask, “Where is God in all of this?” I believe that God is in the hands of those who have responded. In the hands of those who are giving out food and water to those who haven’t eaten in days. In the prayers of those who are unable to lift or rebuild. In the arms of those who hold a newborn baby or comfort a man who is slowly dying.

Yes, we have seen a great amount of destruction caused by nature and caused by people, but already there have been signs of God’s love and grace, even as the water covers many places and people.

We have an opportunity to be agents of God’s grace. Through our prayers, we can pray for the comfort and healing of those who have been affected. Through our hands we can help feed those who have been displaced and can help rebuild when the times comes. And through our gifts we can not only provide the resources for beginning recovery, but resources that will help continue and sustain those who return to nothing.

This morning, as an act of outreach and love and being agents of God’s grace, we will have the opportunity to help those in need through our gifts to the United Methodist Agency, UMCOR – the United Methodist Committee on Relief. Any money left on the altar rail this morning as we come to partake in communion, will be sent to UMCOR to help in the aid and rebuilding efforts for those who have been affected by the hurricanes. In addition, there is opportunity to help through assembling health kits, meals, and flood buckets.

Let us come to God’s table partaking in the Body of Christ and being reminded of how we can be Christ’s body for the world.

So we survived

The winds and rains were bad enough here, but certainly not devastating. There were some branches down, we lost a gutter spout, and there was trash and other debris, but that was it.

We did lose power Monday night around 9:30. Laura and I stumbled around the house in candlelight for a little while before going to bed. As we were getting in bed, Laura asked, "So, are you ready for me to blow out this last candle?" As she was taking her breath, all of a sudden the power comes back on and everything starts beeping and running again. Great lungs my wife has!

I hope everyone is OK. WHUMC is trying to send some relief funds and materials through UMCOR.

A Peculiar Prophet: Patriotic Thoughts

A Peculiar Prophet: Patriotic Thoughts

The Bishop has posted some interesting thoughts on patriotism in his weekly blog. I agree with him completely, but it is easier said than done.

Of my congregation, I would say that 70% of them have had some type of involvement in one war or another. I have found it a tricky place to try to navigate away from outright nationalism, to moving toward a more appropriate acknowledgement of those who have served and are serving now. My biggest confrontation had to do with a song the choir director wanted do to as an anthem called, "The Bible is my Statue of Liberty." Luckily, I convinced her that a more appropriate song might be "This is my Song," by Lloyd Stone and Georgia Harkness (pg. 437 in the UMC Hymnal) - which is my favorite song of all time.

However, at the same time of not wanting to have a U.S. flag waving ceremony in the church, I am thankful that at least this is not an area where putting up a US flag would be considered a political statement. A pastor was telling me about a former church that he served that the area that he was in was covered in Confederate flags and the culture, stereotypes, and racism was so pre-Civil war, that to put up a US flag would have been radical move.

My hope is that one day I can re-experience what I saw at the 1st Peace Camp in 1992. During worship one evening, we had a parade of flags from just about every nation in the world, with people running with them throughout Hutto Auditorium, and then out of the building. It was amazing, just the sheer beauty of it alone, but also that it symbolized that we had all been brought here from different locations with different flags, but were now here together, not under different flags, but one cross.

An eye for an ...

Romans 12:9-21

We have a lot of angry people in this world. I mean a lot of them. People angry for this reason or that. People angry because they got up on the wrong side of the bed, their favorite cereal had all been eaten, people angry about something that has been done to them, angry about something that has been done to someone they love or know, or people who are angry because they like to be angry.

The main reason we are angry is because we don’t know how to forgive.

I was scrolling through the TV guide the other day and I saw yet another judge show. People’s Court-type thing, not American Kennel club or American Idol. I’m fascinated with how many judge shows there are that are on TV. I still can’t get over that there is one station that runs almost three hours of “judge shows” right in a row. The show in question this week was called “Eye for an Eye.” It was a judge show about getting even with someone who had done them wrong.

I just want to say that if we truly believe that we are a Christian nation, then a show called “An Eye for an Eye” would not be airing on a Christian network. Aside from running a half hour program running down the Top Ten Gods that are better than Yahweh/Jehovah, you can’t get more un-Christian than a show called “An Eye for an Eye.”

Let’s remember what Jesus says in Matthew 5. He says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.”[1]

To me, that’s pretty blatant. I’m not the smartest person in the world by far, but it’s pretty cut and dry that Jesus condemns the practice of getting even.

Why would God do this? Why would God first establish 2,000 years of Mosaic Law that was based on this notion of getting even, only to undo it in one fell swoop through Jesus?

It’s about mercy.

Jesus came to help people understand more about God’s love than what they knew in Scripture and the Law. Under those early laws, God had allowed people to take revenge that was equal to the harm that had been done to them. Thus, “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” But God does away with that. He says, “No more!”

Why? Well, I’ll ask God when I meet him in heaven. I have no idea, but I’ll venture a guess. Human nature is such that when we are hurt, when we are angry, and we are given an opportunity to exact a revenge that was equal to the harm that was done to us, then we usually don’t stop with an equal and opposite reaction. No, we usually take it a step or two further than we should – call it interest.

I remember in elementary and Jr. High when I or one of my buddies would “accidentally” hit the other, the one who got hit would get to take a swing at the one who punched first. But it never failed that whoever got to hit back would always hit harder than he got hit, so the other would hit him, and so on and so on until someone else had to break it up. There would have never been an end to it, because both of the guys wanted to get in the last hit, and they wanted their punch to hurt the worst. An equal repayment of the hurt was never in their minds.

In many ways that’s where Jewish Law stood after 2,000 years of practice. It had been reduced to nothing much more than a bunch of boys on a playground. The Holy Law had been manipulated so that the repayment of hurt was no longer equal, but selective and oppressive. In addition to that, the Romans were oppressing the Jews and treating them unfairly, so therefore, the ones on power would turn and hurt the ones who were under them. The “punching on the playground” began to cycle out of control.

And that’s really what anger and violence is anyway, isn’t it? A continuation of the cycle of someone wanting to pay back the hurt that had been done to them. It’s in our human nature to want to get even. It’s one thing to say that we forgive, but we still feel hurt, we still feel pain. And, in a very real part, forgiveness isn’t really that fair is it?

We prayed earlier this morning that God “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We’re not talking about our neighbor who parks his car on our freshly mown grass here, we’re talking about the people who have hurt us – just as we have hurt others.

It’s hard to forgive when we are hurting. When the pain is fresh or when it has festered for years, it’s hard for us to not remember someone who has done us wrong.

In Pastoral Counseling, one of the ideas that we talked about is that most people operate using a ledger system. Essentially we keep a list in our heads of all the bad things that have been done, and at any time we are ready to rattle off all those times that someone has done us wrong. I’m sure you know people who are professionals at that. Men, stop thinking about your wives, because you do it too. We all do it, the instant we get into an argument, all of the things that we have kept stored up in our minds come out and the avalanche begins.

But even then, once we get through with our litany of sins against us, we still hold on to them. We may have gotten them out there on the table, but we still hold on to them – ‘cause we know that we’ll have to use them again. So on and on it goes as we remember all of the bad things that happen to us.

So break the cycle. You have the power to put an end to the cycle of hurt and pain that exists in your own life. You’re tired of hurting, tired of being angry, tired of other people being angry at you? Why don’t you tear up the list? Get rid of it. Put to rest those things that we’re holding on to that we’re waiting to use against someone at any time.

Why? Why should we do this? Why should we be the ones who have to give up our quest for vengeance and blood thirst? Why not the other guy? Because Jesus did it first for us.

Of the many things that Jesus came to do, the most important of his works was to show us that God’s love was so genuine for us that no matter who we are or what we had done – we are forgiven. In the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven!

Jesus came to break the cycle. That’s the first reason that we forgive. It’s not fair, I know. But if you want a fair religion, try Buddhism or Hinduism, theirs is a theology based on getting even through karma and reincarnation. But the Christian faith isn’t easy. It’s hard. But it’s the best way to break that chain that can go on and on.

We forgive because God has forgiven us first. We forgive because God has forgiven us before we have forgiven ourselves. We forgive because we have been told.

A Sunday School teacher had just concluded her lesson and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She said, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?” There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small boy spoke up. “Sin,” he said.

Before I close, I want to make sure that you know I’m not talking about the abuse of the idea of forgiveness. I’m sure Laura will touch on that when she shares with us about domestic violence. But what I am talking about is making those first steps toward finding wholeness in God and in yourself.

I will leave you with this verse from Romans 12:19. Paul is giving a number of commands and instructions on living and at the end he says, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s anger, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says God. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

“In the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. It is the belief that God can take care of the fairness problems. It is not fair just to pretend that something doesn’t happen. It did happen. It still hurts. It still stings. Forgiveness is not fair, but forgiveness is a way of taking that burden from us and giving it to God who is fair. “I will avenge,” says the Lord. You forgive. It breaks the cycle of relationships. It breaks the stranglehold on you and on me and it is what God did for us in his Son Jesus on the cross.”[2]

[1] Matthew 5:38-42 NRSV
[2] Phillip Yancey. “Forgiveness: It just ain’t fair” http://www.csec.org/csec/sermon/yancey_3622.htm

I'm in it now...

So, here is the obligatory statement about how I have finally entered into the world of blogging because I am the only one who hasn't done it yet.

After doing CPE at UAB Hospital this Spring, I have adjusted my thougts about blogs. I still think that for the most part they are for either the self-obsessed or for people who have no one in their lives to share things with, but I can see a lot of benefit to them.

One of the things that got me rethinking blogs is that during CPE I was made aware that I am sometimes a "guarded" person - I don't reveal who I am very much. Well, I thought what could be better than starting to blog to get me to be more open about myself? So here it is, and here I am, with all of my naughty bits for the world to see. I doubt I'll update much, or that many people will read this, but in the long run, it may help me put off therapy in later years.

Enjoy!